Please Put Edi Patterson In Your TV Show Or Movie
Not you, Danny McBride. You're already doing great.
To whom it may concern:
I am reaching out today with a simple request, one that I think will be beneficial to both of us — you, the person currently casting a television show or movie, and me, a person who might end up watching your television show or movie. I understand that you must get a lot of these, so I will attempt to be brief: Please put Edi Patterson in your television show or movie.
My reasons for making this request are straightforward. Here they are in bullet point form for ease and clarity:
- Edi Patterson rules
- She is so good in everything
- She isn’t in enough things
This is where you come in. You can remedy this situation so simply, as soon as today, by calling up Edi Patterson and asking her to be in your TV show or movie. If I’ve already convinced you, you can even stop reading here and go do it now. I won’t be offended. I’ll be thrilled, actually. But I’ll keep going anyway, just in case.
Remember how good Edi Patterson was in The Righteous Gemstones? Remember how she played Judy Gemstone, the spoiled brat daughter of a huge televangelist, and just destroyed comedically every time she showed up on screen? That was great, right? She spent like half of that show sharing scenes with people like Danny McBride and John Goodman and Walton Goggins, and she was usually stealing those scenes right out from under them. She spent the other half with Tim Baltz, who played her husband on the show. Tim Baltz should also be in more TV shows and movies, but he just popped up and killed in an episode of the spring’s hottest show, Widow’s Bay, so we can worry about him later. Edi Patterson was not in Widow’s Bay. Edi Patterson would’ve been great in Widow’s Bay. That show has a chance to remedy the situation in its upcoming second season, but you can swoop in and do something about it right now by putting Edi Patterson in your TV show or movie today. This is terrific news for you.
I feel like an example will help. Here, watch her letting it rip.
Danny McBride, if you are reading this, I am not talking to you right now. You’re doing a great job at putting Edi Patterson in stuff. You put her in The Righteous Gemstones, you put her in Vice Principals, hell, you even have her narrating a part of your new audiobook. Please keep doing what you’re doing, of course. But this one isn’t on you.
Everyone else, though? No offense, but it's time for you to step it up a bit. It can’t be just Danny McBride’s responsibility to cast Edi Patterson in everything. And it shouldn’t be. Watch that video up there and then think about how great it would be to have someone bring that kind of electric presence to your next project. Call Danny McBride and ask him about it if you want. He probably has Edi Patterson’s number. You can get it from him and call her and ask her to be in your TV show or movie. Again, I’m trying to make this as simple as I can for you.
Would it help if I made a list of roles I think she would be great at? I can do that, too. Here, look:
- A murderer on Poker Face
- A patient on Shrinking who has a multi-episode arc with Harrison Ford
- An ambitious politician on an HBO comedy
- A judge named like Penelope Splatts in a season of Fargo
- A recurring substitute teacher on Abbott Elementary
- An astronaut in a movie based on an Andy Weir book
- A villain in a movie based on a Carl Hiaasen book
- The voice of literally any character in a Pixar movie
- A human character in a movie that stars the Muppets
This is just a start. Please don’t feel constrained by this list. I’m just trying to get the ball rolling. I just want you to start thinking about it. About casting Edi Patterson in your TV show or movie, I mean. I think that was clear but I figured I should be safe and say it again.
Thank you and have a blessed day.
This is the thing where I pitch you on subscribing and especially upgrading. I really enjoy doing this newsletter. I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, please consider smashing the button below and supporting me so I can keep doing it.
A paid subscription does get you some extras, too, not just the joy of giving me money. You’ll get access to the Friday newsletter and you’ll get to contribute to our periodic mailbags and reverse mailbags. Maybe there will be other benefits coming soon. All that for $5/month or $50/year. Basically a buck a week. A buck a week! Wow! What a deal!
STUFF I CLICKED ON
— Vulture is letting me do my very silly House of the Dragon Scorecard again for Season 3, and I’m getting stupid already
— good interview with Danny McBride, who always seems like a thoughtful dude, not just because he's always casting Edi Patterson
— Alison Herman talked to Matthew Rhys about Widow’s Bay
— lord what a brutal takedown of Alexi Lalas lmao
— speaking of the World Cup, I love Cape Verde
— give Reggie Dinkins some awards
— Netflix is making a Sesame Street movie
— Amazon dumped the Sam Altman movie because they are cowards
— “A Brutally Honest Kid’s Review of Toy Story 5”
— Quentin Tarantino and Kylie Minogue are starring in a movie with RZA
— good blog about World Cup teams spying on each other
— World Cup fans are falling in love with ranch dressing
— “85-year-old arrested for street racing in sports car while smoking cigarillo”
— “Millions of bees escape after semitruck hauling beehives overturns, authorities say”
— “’Tesla in the middle of our pool': Man drives Tesla into public pool, saved by lifeguard”
— the Sunday Night Baseball crew reminded John Kruk that he once did a voice role on Aqua Teen Hunger Force, so yes, I will post that clip
Okay, that's it for this week. Please share and subscribe and put Edi Patterson in your TV show or movie.
