reasons to go see Black Bag, ranked

Let’s go with 10…

TEN: Black Bag is a spy movie for grown-ups directed by Steven Soderbergh, which feels like reason enough to get you involved, but it’s at least a good place to start

NINE: Do you want to see Michael Fassbender stare icy lasers at other spies while wearing stylish turtlenecks?

EIGHT: Of course you do

SEVEN: Cate Blanchett was born to stride around confidently in leather jackets and sunglasses and if she ever told me I had disappointed her I would surely disintegrate and blow away in the wind

SIX: If you go see a weekday matinee like I did on Monday, the theater might be so empty that it’s just you and an older couple and the older lady might gasp out loud at some of the twists in a way that’s very adorable

FIVE: I legitimately did not see what was coming for most of the movie, which was a blast in a time when too many movies telegraph their big twists from a few miles away and expect you to be blown away when they get there

FOUR: The whole thing is 90 minutes long and moves even faster than that, sleek and fun and breezy the way these kinds of movies should be

THREE: I really cannot stress in strong enough terms how good Fassbender and Blanchett are together on-screen as married spies, just smoldering glances and subterfuge the whole way through

TWO: You deserve a nice time at the movies

ONE: Black Bag rules

It’s settled. You should see it.