Reasons To Watch Shoresy, Ranked

Shoresy premieres its fifth season in America this weekend on Hulu after completing its run in Canada earlier in the year. I like this show very much. I think you might like it, too. Here are some reasons why. Ten of them, to be specific…

TEN: Shoresy is a show about a bunch of dudes who play in a minor-minor-minor hockey league. I do not like or even care about hockey. This ruins my enjoyment of the show almost exactly zero percent. It might increase my enjoyment, actually, because I don’t know enough to get mad at a little thing it gets wrong. It does nail the beats of a good sports show, though, with adversity and triumph and killer music montages. Especially the killer music montages. These are important. 

NINE: It’s funny. Lord, is it funny. And fast. And sometimes a little mean in the way sweetheart bros are mean to each other in jest because they’re not always comfortable with saying something nicer instead. Every now and then, a character will go on an extended run of busting on someone and it gets funnier and more absurd as it builds, like Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes but with weirdly specific references to things goofball hockey players have no right knowing about.

EIGHT: Yes, it’s a spinoff of Letterkenny, also created by Jared Keeso, who stars as Shoresy in this show and appeared as Shoresy offscreen in the precursor. No, you do not need to have watched Letterkenny to get it. I know this because I love it and have not watched Letterkenny, which makes the Letterkenny fans in my life FURIOUS, which makes me kind of want to never watch it, just because I like making them mad as a bit. I’m an infuriating person to know sometimes. 

SEVEN: Speaking of bits, here’s one of my favorites from the show: Shoresy asking a question or saying something and then interrupting the person’s response with a loud “HUH?” just as they get going. 

SIX: Each season is made up of six episodes that clock in at or just under 30 minutes, which means you can crank out a whole season in the time it would take you to watch some bloated comic book movie that leaves you frustrated. You can watch all four seasons in a weekend if you want and dive into season five right away. There are worse ways to kill time in February. 

FIVE: Shoresy might be the most Dudes Rock show on television right now, with guys just sitting around busting chops and supporting each other in a way that is deeply wholesome under its crude exterior. Sometimes it can teeter a bit too far into Dudesville, with slow-mo montages of Hot Babes In Lingerie or whatever, but its heart is almost always in the right place. And the show's female characters often get in the funniest lines. There's a balance here.

FOUR: Please enjoy this montage of Shoresy and high school kids chirping at each other during the youth games he referees. Do it with your headphones in, though.

THREE: One of Shoresy’s favorite lines is about how wanting to win is less important than hating to lose, and as a man who has stormed away from a board game or 20 in his life, let’s say I can relate to this sentiment quite a bit. 

TWO: If you all watch Shoresy, then you will understand how funny it is when I shout “FER WHAT??!!!” whenever someone gets reprimanded for doing something very obviously wrong, and it is important to me that people get my jokes and congratulate me for making them. 

ONE: It’s a good show, guys. 

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STUFF I CLICKED ON

— Pete Volk invited me on his podcast, Sports Movies That Don’t Suck, and let me blabber about my love of The Sandlot

— Claire McNear did a better job of writing about the Jeopardy lady than I did

— Matt Gelb wrote about the Nick Castellanos saga and broke the “beer in the dugout” story

— The Simpsons went to Philly for episode 800 and PhillyMag was on it

— I am so happy Flavor Flav exists

— curling beef

— lol Statham

— Bones star David Boreanaz is gonna be in the new Rockford Files show

— Bones star Emily Deschanel will be in a new show too

— RIP to Jimmy Fallon’s pasta sauce

— “We've set a record for the amount of fights that we've done this season, but all for good reason”

— artifact heist

— shoutout to the Cow Guy

— “Woodpeckers knock out power in Sixmilebridge, Co Clare”

— “Italy’s famous ‘Lovers’ Arch’ collapses on Valentine’s Day”

— incredible paragraph: “Something inside of me said, ‘Go up there and stand with these people,’ ” said Zobel, a 36-year-old school coach who said he’s never been to a protest before in his life. “I wanted to stand for what is right.” As he dashed out, Zobel also grabbed one thing — the American flag he flies in front of his house most of the time (except during football season when an Eagles flag replaces it).”

— yes, that was Martin Scorsese in the new trailer for The Mandalorian and Grogu

— post the trailer, Brian, okay fine, geez, gimme a second

Okay, that's it for this week. Please share and subscribe and watch Shoresy so you get my jokes.