Remember The Time On 'The Young Pope' When The Pope Prayed Someone To Death?
A look back at an important moment in television history.
The Young Pope was a television show that ran for two-ish seasons on HBO almost 10 years ago. It starred Jude Law as an American guy named Lenny Belardo who got elected pope by a bunch of scheming cardinals who were hoping to install him as a puppet, only to discover that, surprise, he was a strong-willed and radically conservative leader who was later revealed to be suffering from massive depression that stemmed from his parents’ decision to abandon him as a baby to go live a bohemian lifestyle. It was created by Italian filmmaker Paolo Sorrentino and was, at times, a beautiful and heartbreaking examination of loneliness and organized religion and walking a path toward forgiveness and compassion.
It was also, somewhat more famously, completely bonkers. The first episode featured a dream sequence where Jude Law’s character emerged from a baby pyramid, which you might have just read incorrectly, like a fool, as “a very small pyramid“ and not as “a giant pyramid made of infants.” The only thing he drank was Cherry Coke Zero. One time, as he was preparing to give a big speech, a bird swooped down and stole the speech out of his hands. The Australian government gifted him a kangaroo that hopped around the Vatican for a few episodes before someone murdered it. Sometimes nuns would just be dancing to techno music in their chambers. He dropped a baby once. Diane Keaton played a basketball-obsessed nun who would shoot hoops terribly in her downtime and strolled into one scene wearing a shirt that said “I’m a virgin but this is an old shirt.” Yes, I still have a screencap of that.
The Young Pope’s chief adversary was a devious cardinal named Voiello who tried to sabotage his papacy by giving him a hot secretary in the hopes it would lead to an affair that would force him to resign in disgrace, only for the secretary, Esther, to become deeply devoted to Lenny and eventually get pregnant through a process strongly implied to be an immaculate conception set in motion by Lenny himself. Voiello had a massive mole on his face that I still believe to this day changed very subtly in size and placement throughout the show. He was always going around saying stuff like this.
I loved him very much.
As you can imagine, it all got weird and a little confusing. Remember how I said there were “two-ish seasons” earlier? That’s because the first season was kind of a self-contained limited series that ended with what appeared to be Jude Law’s character‘s death, but then later Sorrentino picked up the story in a sequel series called The New Pope in which Jude Law survived – SURPRISE – but was replaced as pope by a new character played by John Malkovich. Thankfully, the show clarified this a bit by having the young pope say this in The Young Pope...
… and by having the new pope say this in The New Pope.
Anyway...
In The Young Pope proper, toward the end of the season, Lenny traveled to Africa to meet with a nun named Sister Antonia. Sister Antonia was beloved around the world, a Mother Teresa-type who was revered for her commitment to serving and helping the poor and less fortunate. What both Lenny and the viewers at home quickly discovered, however, was that Sister Antonia was actually more of a ruthless tyrant who controlled the entire water supply of the small village she was allegedly helping. Which made Lenny mad, and even more mad when he realized he had limited options when it came to attempting to punish a beloved nun who everyone thought was headed for sainthood.
So, Lenny, in a fit of fed-up fury, had his motorcade screech to a halt at a truck stop, jumped out in full papal regalia, dropped to his knees in front of a haf-dozen 18-wheelers, looked up to the sky, and opened a prayer by saying this …
... which is a heck of a way to open a prayer.
What followed was a brief montage that cut between a visual of him saying words we could not hear and Sister Antonia getting up to grab a glass of water, sipping it, and then immediately dropping dead on the floor, with the very strong implication being that the pope asked God to kill an evil nun and God was like “Yup, on it.” Truly an incredible twist, just from a storytelling perspective, especially from a show that featured rave nuns and kangaroo murder. And made even wilder by the fact that the young pope once said this…
… about a prayer that didn’t even involve killing an evil nun.
In conclusion:
- The real Pope, also an American guy, has been in the news a lot lately
- This resulted in me spending a lot of time this week remembering things that happened on The Young Pope
- By turning it into a blog, I can retroactively call all of that wasted time “work”
So here we all are.
This is the thing where I pitch you on subscribing and especially upgrading. I really enjoy doing this newsletter. I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, please consider smashing the button below and supporting me so I can keep doing it.
A paid subscription does get you some extras, too, not just the joy of giving me money. You’ll get access to the Friday newsletter and you’ll get to contribute to our periodic mailbags and reverse mailbags. Maybe there will be other benefits coming soon. All that for $5/month or $50/year. Basically a buck a week. A buck a week! Wow! What a deal!
STUFF I CLICKED ON
— Caity Weaver wrote about restaurant bread and I clicked so fast I almost spilled my Mango refresher from Wawa (find yourself a gift link here)
— Alamo Drafthouse got shredded by David Ehrlich
— incredible blog: “Please Enjoy These Photos Of Damp And Drunk People At An English Horse Race”
— I can’t believe the couple that went viral at a Pacers game turned out to be cool and fun
— yes, I watched them on Inside the NBA, one of our best television shows
— Sabrina Carpenter brought out Will Ferrell and Susan Sarandon at Coachella
— "World's least shocking survey names Dolly Parton America's most popular person"
— Harrison Ford is just taunting me now
— terrific, chaotic THR headline: “Frankie Muniz Crashes NASCAR Truck as ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ Revival Premieres”
— somehow more terrific, more chaotic THR headline: “‘Paddington 4,’ ‘Escape From New York’ Reboot in the Works at StudioCanal”
— apparently former Phillies closer Brad Lidge is an archaeologist now
— Nicole Kidman: Death Doula
— Malala came to Philly and dropped a "Go Birds"
— "The world’s oldest octopus fossil isn’t an octopus after all, scientists say"
— happy birthday to the world’s oldest gorilla
— as a Pennsylvania resident with a sweet tooth, I regret to inform you that the upcoming Hershey biopic looks like something Jack Donaghy would've put Tracy Jordan in
Okay, that's it for this week. Please share and subscribe and try not to pray anyone to death.
