the Mission: Impossible franchise has unlocked the power of People From Shows You Like

A couple things jumped out at me almost immediately as I was watching the first trailer for Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning. The first was that Ethan Hunt is just entirely too old to still be doing impossible missions. I don’t even mean the Tom Cruise of it all, although that is also a conversation I am willing to have at some point. I mean Ethan Hunt, IMF agent, who is still hellbent on saving the world by himself as he enters his 60s. This man should be much more tired by now. He should be in a recliner by 6pm. He should be recovering from his second dirtbike-related knee replacement. I say this with a lot of love for these movies and with an admission that I will absolutely be going to see this one on opening weekend, but Ethan Hunt should be sitting behind a desk telling the next generation of hotshots that they’re being taken off the case as a result of their loose cannon shenanigans. Is the IMF having trouble finding new recruits? What’s going on over there?

(please subscribe to my blog)

The other thing I noticed helps explain the staying power of the franchise, beyond just the “Tom Cruise will continue heaving himself off of things in the name of the in-theater movie experience” part: these movies are just riddled with your favorite actors and actors from shows you like. Yes, the line between movie star and TV star is fuzzier than ever, but it is fuzzy because television got fancier a few decades ago. People started jumping back and forth. It’s how these movies ended up adding people like Vanessa Kirby (my favorite part of The Crown) and Hayley Atwell (the Agent Carter TV series was fun). Those two have been fun in these suckers. Especially Vanessa Kirby. She should be in more things. A conversation for another time.

It all really sunk in watching this trailer, though, just the depth of it all. It especially sunk in here, when Tramell Tillman popped up to say this…

… and I shouted “THAT IS MR. MILCHICK FROM SEVERANCE.” And when I saw Nick Offerman…

… and I shouted “THAT IS RON SWANSON WITHOUT HIS MUSTACHE.” And when I saw Hannah Waddingham…

… I shouted “THAT’S WHATSHERNAME FROM TED LASSO. VERONICA? NO. WAIT. REBECCA! THAT’S REBECCA.”

There are more in there, too, most recurring by now. Holt McCallany from Mindhunter?

In the movie.

Shea Whigham from Boardwalk Empire?

In the movie.

Freaking Angela Bassett?

In the movie.

AS THE PRESIDENT.

This last one is especially interesting to me and has been since she was introduced to the franchise a few movies ago. It raises two pretty important questions that I’ll close out this exercise with, only because if I don’t I’ll spend the next four hours dream-casting my favorite TV actors into Mission: Impossible movies (LET EDI PATTERSON DEFUSE A NUCLEAR BOMB) (LET SAM RICHARDSON DRIVE A TANK) (LET AUBREY PLAZA JUST KIND OF STARE AT PEOPLE UNTIL THEY BREAK)…

• Do you consider Angela Bassett more of a movie star for her memorable roles from years ago or a TV star for her long-running role on 9-1-1?
• Are we really supposed to believe that America still needs Tom Cruise to save the day when we have Angela Bassett as the damn Commander in Chief?

Be serious. We saw the bee-nado trilogy. Ethan Hunt could never.

STUFF I TYPED

— my Friday roundup newsletter, which covered everything from a behind-the-scenes White Lotus feud to a bunch of baby Galapagos turtles

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— Vince Mancini interviewed Paul Giamatti

— Scott Tobias wrote a great piece about how Burn After Reading kind of explains everything right now

— Catherine O’Hara is the best and I’m glad The Studio is giving everyone another reason to remember that

— my favorite Val Kilmer tribute was written by Will Forte

— we have already discussed the deranged and beautiful things The Righteous Gemstones does with the English language but I do need to bring the term “look-‘em-ups” to your attention

— I did not like this season of The White Lotus for many of the reasons Sepinwall lays out here (maybe I would have liked one of the secret fake endings more)

— I do not think we are making a big enough deal about the Fincher-Tarantino collaboration

— Phoebe Waller-Bridge keeps taking Amazon’s money and I respect her so much for it

— cheesesteaks are changing

— Keanu is coming back for John Wick 5 (???)

— I will watch the Diana Taurasi docuseries

— turns out the BBC’s new spy thriller is actually a sneaky little Killing Eve prequel

— torpedo bat factory

— Brazilian judge accused of faking British ancestry with hilariously long fake name

— “My Friend Has Been Naming Shitty TV Characters After Me For 20 Years”

— frankly, I don’t see why we need four whole Beatles movies when their whole deal was already summed up by a single perfect scene

Okay, that’s it for this week. Please share and subscribe and maybe put Meg Stalter from Hacks in a Mission: Impossible movie.