Things I Watched Recently, Ranked

Notes before we begin:

• This is exactly what the headline says it is, just a list of things I watched recently, ranked by how much I enjoyed them 
• I watched more things than the five I listed, but I limited it to these because five felt like a good number 
• I have provided a relatively context-free screencap with each

Off we go. 

FIVE: The Paper

I’m only a few episodes into this new show from the team behind The Office, so take this ranking with a grain of salt. I do like it so far, mostly, with the usual “opening episodes of an ensemble comedy” caveats applied: some of the characters are way too much, some still need depth, it’ll be more interesting when/if the chemistry gets settled, etc. Again, solid. Will continue watching. 

My biggest beef so far is the binge release strategy. I get why they did it, I guess (reportedly because “people loved to binge The Office"), but I do think some sort of combo model — drop the first four to get a footing, one a week after that —might have hooked me more. I also would have appreciated not having them all in my lap on the opening weekend of the NFL season. Not a problem for everyone, I suppose, but a problem for me, and I’m the one writing this blog, so it stays. 

FOUR: Highest 2 Lowest

I dug it. Not all of it, but enough of it. I could watch Denzel grumble and be cranky all day, and he gets to do a fair amount of it here in Spike Lee’s take on an Akira Kurosawa classic. Jeffrey Wright rarely, if ever, misses. Dean Winters shows up as a wisecracking detective who is part of the team that investigates the kidnapping. All positives. 

Boy, does Spike Lee love New York, though. Wowee. I guess I get it, though. If I were making a movie and there was no one around to stop me, I would name a character, like, Chase Dawkins — Chase Utley, Brian Dawkins, you see the vision — and spend a huge chunk of my budget trying to get Allen Iverson to show up as himself or possibly a millionaire businessman who has a secret. Or both. Don't worry. Chase Dawkins is on the case.

THREE: Peacemaker

I’m still surprised I like this show. I’m exhausted by comics stuff at this point. I had zero previous knowledge of this character before season one aired a few years ago. I have not watched any of the Suicides Squad or even the new Superman yet. This show should have slid right by me. 

And yet, here I am, still enjoying this rowdy, profane, frequently unclothed production. A lot of credit goes to James Gunn for making it this silly. And to John Cena for being willing to be such a goof even when the joke is very much on his character for being a bozo. Mostly, I just like that they brought in Tim Meadows this season and let him cook. 

Yes, I did write about Tim Meadows in Friday’s newsletter, too. Yes, I posted this exact screencap when I did. In my defense, it’s a really good screencap. I might post it again next week. There’s really nothing any of you can do to stop me. 

TWO: The Thursday Murder Club

The Thursday Murder Club is:

• A movie version of the first in a wildly popular series of books about a group of retirees who get together to solve murders
• A good reminder that Helen Mirren can be really funny when she wants to
• A pretty good time and a charming way to spend two hours

I did not expect to ever see Pierce Brosnan wearing denim. Still wrapping my head around that one. 

ONE: This Video Of A Dude Singing One Word Of ‘All Star’ By Smashmouth Every Day Until He Finished The Song

I need to stress here that I am not joking. I’m not doing a bit. This is… incredible. Watch the video. Think about the dedication it took to do this every day for over a year. Think about how much work it must have taken to splice every tiny clip together. Think about the confidence it must take to know you’re wearing the same hoodie like seven out of nine days in here and say, “Yup, still posting it.” This is remarkable content. 

I gasped when he popped up in a suit for one word and then went right back to sweats. A king. 

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STUFF I CLICKED ON

— Defector — a good website — with a useful, unpaywalled blog about how to get the COVID vaccine this fall

— Claire McNear wrote about Jeopardy’s most controversial era

— Mike Ryan interviewed Colin Hanks

— really good thing in Vulture about Dean Winters, who I have now mentioned twice this week and who most of America knows as Mayhem from the Allstate commercials but will always be Dennis Duffy to me (need to hear Mayhem use the word “dummy”)

— interesting thing about the lady who decides which celebrities are big enough deals to get primo seats at the U.S. Open, which I include here in part because it’s good and in part because I made this screencap of Danny DeVito and I want everyone to see it

— enjoyed this thing about the new movie Aziz Ansari made with Seth Rogen and Keanu Reeves

— oral history of Fresh Air

— incredible real headline: "Dwayne Johnson Says Weight Loss Is for New Acting Role; He’s Playing a 70-Year-Old Man Whose Best Friend Is a Chicken: ‘I Still Have a Long Way to Go’"

— somehow even more incredible real headline: "Michael Caine Coming Out of Retirement at 92 Years Old for Vin Diesel’s ‘Last Witch Hunter 2’ at Lionsgate"

— important investigation into baseball and candy

— Lincoln sculpture heist 

— cat mayor

— sloth doorbell bandit

— "Man arrested after driving child-size pink Barbie Jeep through Prince George, B.C."

— "Calif. swinger hotel with sex maze for sale, signaling dying era in Palm Springs"

— I suspect I will write more about this in Friday’s newsletter but the first teaser for the new Knives Out movie looks pretty fun

Okay, that's it for this week. Please share and subscribe and let me make a movie that stars Allen Iverson.