what I sound like watching Severance

hold on why is that guy doiHOLY SHIT

what I sound like watching Severance

Okay, time to watch Severance

What’s going on here?

Who’s that guy?

Why’s he walking around?

Where is he?

Do I know him?

Did I miss an episode and not realize it or someth-…

Oh, I get it now

I see what’s happening

He just wears sweaters now

Wait

No

What’s that lady doing?

Why does she have that?

Hold on

Who’s in that room?

Wait

HOLY SHIT

WOW

WHOA

IT’S HIM

I KNEW IT

Wait…

Okay, no

False alarm

Where’s that guy going now?

Hey, isn’t that the lady from season one?

Is her hair different?

Oh never mind

It’s a different lady

Where’s she going?

Man, this is a long hallway

I don’t think I would like working at this comp-…

Wait

Hold on

OH SHIT

OH WOW

IT WAS THE SAME LADY

I THOUGHT SO

THIS CHANGES EVERTH-…

Wait

What are we doing now?

Was that real?

Was that a flashback?

Hey, who’s this guy?

Are we on the outside now?

What happened to Christopher Walke-…

Oh, there he is

Why’s he doing that?

Is this anoth-

OH SHIT

I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT HAPPEN

IT’S CONNECTED

I FIGURED IT OUT

Wait

No

Hold on

Okay maybe not

Hey, where’s she going now?

Upstairs?

That’s weird

Is she meeting with the guy with the hair?

Or the creepy Bluetooth lady?

Where’s the child from earlier?

Damn these are long hallways

Wait, that’s a new room

Wait

Hold on

Whose head is that?

TURN AROUND

TURN AROUND

TURN AROUND

WAIT

THAT’S…

HOLY SHIT

WOW

OKAY

WHOA

HOLY SHIT

THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

THAT’S WHY THE THING EARLIER WAS DOING THAT

I KNEW IT

Okay…

Hold on…

Wait…

STUFF I TYPED

— my weekly Severance blog for Vulture, which introduces a pretty stupid theory I stand by

— my Friday newsletter, which opened with a thing about the Oscars but more importantly covered the multiple idiotic boat thefts that happened last week

STUFF I CLICKED ON

— loved this blog by Barry Petchesky titled, beautifully. There Are Other People In The World

Diana Taurasi rules

— glad to see Britt Lower get some recognition for what she’s doing on Severance

Bill Burr profile

— Danny McBride interviewed Walton Goggins and it was a lovely read

— speaking of Goggins, here’s a screencap that will be useful in your various group chats

train horn heist

Paddington heist

weasel sighting

— Katy Perry is going to space

— Conan talked about how that Adam Sandler bit at the Oscars happened

— the Michael Crichton estate is still suing over The Pitt

“I’m not a bad actress. I got an Emmy nomination. How do you think I did that?”

“Colorado men accused of attempting to use a cannon to launch meth and tobacco into Louisiana prison”

— I respect Francis Ford Coppola a lot for writing a searing message about Hollywood and the Razzies under a black and white picture of his face looking disappointed in them

commercials too loud

new Sharon Horgan show

I need it

— I should warn you that you will never be the same after you watch the commercial for the very fancy toilet but I do realize that this warning will only make you want to watch it more

Okay, that’s all for this week. Please subscribe and upgrade and think about this while walking down a long hallway at work.