An Incomplete List Of Things I Am Thankful For Right Now

The complete list would take forever. Not made of time over here.

The Five Spot: Knives Out, Hollywood Cheese, And Rental Hedgehogs

I will take any excuse to link to my favorite Conan bits.

Happy Two-Year Blogiversary

Read to the bottom for a special celebratory offer.

The Five Spot: Poker Face Blues, Escaped Flamingos, And My Problem With The Pope's Movie List

Lots to get to this week. Mostly about flamingos.

Reasons To Watch Pluribus, Ranked

Listen to me.

The Five Spot: Miss Piggy, Keanu Reeves, And Golden Toilets

Oh look, a headline that sums up this entire newsletter's existence.

'The Lowdown' Was So Good

Just an incredible piece of television.

The Five Spot: Jesse Plemons, A Rental Car Flim-Flam, And Tom Cruise Getting Annoyed

"How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?"

Cell Phone Companies Will Not Stop Sending Celebrities To The Middle Of Nowhere

I need this to keep escalating.

The Five Spot: David Chase, Lego Looters, And Rhea Seehorn Asking For A Bazooka

GIVE RHEA SEEHORN A BAZOOKA

LOUVRE HEIST TOP FIVE

Counting down my favorite things about the most important story in the world.

The Five Spot: Rihanna, Channing Tatum, And Vin Diesel Contemplating the Ocean

Also, a truly incredible moment of television.

the chair company

Why Is This Line From 'The Chair Company' Stuck In My Head?

Now here's a show that looks good so far.

The Five Spot: Chalamet's Ping Pong Skills, Ocean's Sequels And/Or Prequels, And My Secret AI Wife

Lots to cover this week, some of it both surreal and kind of hilarous.

The Theft Of Guy Fieri's Tequila Is Now A Matter Of National Importance

[extremely newscaster voice] we're rollin' out...

The Five Spot: Dewey Cox, Pints Of Red Bull, And A Few Small Beers

A surprising amount of beverage discussion this week.

Reasons To Go See 'One Battle After Another,' Ranked

Top ten, here we go... TEN: It is a three-hour movie that deals with heavyyyyyy political themes related to Our Current Moment In Time and yet it still absolutely breezes by, especially in its second and third acts when all the foundation settles into place and the action propels itself

The Five Spot: Marshawn Lynch, Pamela Anderson, And Angela Bassett In Space

To be clear: these are three separate topics. They're not all going to space together. I mean, as far as we know...

THE LOWDOWN

You Guys Gotta Watch 'The Lowdown'

I am so excited about this show and I am going to yell about it now.

The Five Spot: Sabrina Carpenter, The South Park Guys, And Scuba Crime

Can you believe I had to wait until Friday to write about the scuba crime? I mean, honestly.

How I Would Fix The Emmys

Follow me here...

The Five Spot: Unnecessary Apologies, Bee Bandits, And Henry Winkler

LISTEN TO ME, DONNA

Things I Watched Recently, Ranked

Things to watch AND a bunch of links? Look at this freakin' guy.

white lotus

The Five Spot: The White Lotus, Pepsi In Crisis, And Tim Meadows

I'm just dumping out my screencaps folder in this one.