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guess how long it took a cruise ship passenger on Doctor Odyssey to suffer a broken penis
I am a serious entertainment journalist
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Newsletter
The Five Spot: Look At Cristin Milioti’s Eyes
Also: Cops thwarted by magnets and a great story about Halle Berry and Prince
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a brief conversation with a political commercial
please stop yelling at me
Newsletter
The Five Spot: Congratulations To Batman
Also: We have a Martha/Ina feud and an update on Operation Beef Bandit
Newsletter
Richard Kind is doing great
I'm glad we're talking about this
Newsletter
The Five Spot: I Have A New Favorite TV Character
Also this week: Colin Farrell goes full Karl Havoc and a reminder about how good James Earl Jones was in The Sandlot
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some pretty good fake names I thought of
hello I am Hunch McAdoo
Newsletter
The Five Spot: The New Pepsi Gladiator Commercial Is Somehow More And Less Weird Than The Original
Also: GRRM is annoyed with the dragon show and a Philly crab heist
Newsletter
a simple guide to roasting your friends with screenshots from TV and movies
become the menace of the group chat
Newsletter
The Five Spot: A (Very) Brief History Of TV Bounce House Tragedies
Also: An ER sequel scandal and a GIF I made because I couldn't stop thinking about it
Newsletter
dude, let's get hyped for the Paralympics
hell yeah
Newsletter
The Five Spot: The Best Local News Segment I’ve Seen Maybe Ever
Also: An Alicia Silverstone poison fiasco, a sword heist, and more